“What do you want to be when you grow up?” I want you to imagine when the first time someone asked you this question. Where were you, who asked you, and most importantly how old were you? This question can strike up anxiety in some people’s lives and for others it’s a simple answer. Everyone is asked this question as a child and we can safely assume that the individual asking, usually an adult, is trying to catch a glimpse of what a child’s future may consist of. What I fear is that this question may bring on a solitary mindset that suppresses our child-like curiosity. Without curiosity, we apply a lot of pressure onto one interest or path which tends to be our main channel of fulfillment. Then if we experience that the path we chose is unfulfilling, it can be hard to start something else. If we could find a way to allow us to try new and different things more often, I suspect we would experience fulfillment and happiness frequently.
As kids, we witness many jobs and careers. We have all been tasked with finding our answer to the question stated above. What did you say as a kid? Astronaut, Firefighter, Doctor, Scientist, Artist? Whatever you said, why did you say it? Did it please the questioner, did you actually want to pursue that career? The main concern I have with this question is that as we mature and get closer to working a full-time career we start using the same answer. This repetition can start to develop a personal bias that keeps us within a fence. We start to take it as truth and convince ourselves that we were meant to do that one very thing. If we have always used the same answer with several people, it’s hard to turn away from that. We stop weighing all of the options we have available. On the other hand, when we are asked this question as a child, we only have the options that are currently in existence. Industries are ever-changing and rapidly evolving. In five years certain jobs may not be necessary and other jobs will be invented. Better yet what if you are the person to create a new type of job.
Our childhood is not only the time where we start to form this bias. As adults, we start to use our job titles as a source of identity. When we meet someone new one of the first questions is, “What do you do for a living?” Our first conversations tend to float around the topic of career. We start to form a habit of defining ourselves by what job title we currently hold. Just like the repetition from earlier, we start to form a personal narrative that depreciates our sense of curiosity. This associative way of thinking acts as Miracle-Gro for imposter syndrome. The minute we do decide to try something new, we immediately feel uncomfortable and like we are pretending to be someone we aren’t. Cue identity crisis here. After I graduated college and was working within my intended field, I had a conversation with my wife about feeling personally stuck and frustrated. In that conversation, she said something that resonated with me then and will for my entire life. “You are not defined by a job title, your identity doesn’t come from a career.” This was the quote that empowered me to allow myself to explore my options and try new things; for example, writing.
We have so many resources at our disposal. If you have access to the internet, you have an endless list of scholars, philosophers, archivists, and instructors. If you want to learn about something, you have that power. Ryan Holiday wrote in his book, Ego is the Enemy, “No matter what you’ve done up to this point, you better still be a student. If you’re not still learning, you’re already dying.” He relates learning as a sense of living. When we learn about other topics and try new things we start to discover new passions or even enhance our current passions with a cross-pollination of knowledge.
Decide to allow yourself to stay curious. As humans, we evolve our understanding of ourselves, others, and the world. If we have a different idea for a career or hobby than we did as a seven-year-old, that is totally fine. If you currently feel unhappy, start by exploring small new things. You may discover options that excite you and may lead to bigger new things. The Greek philosopher, Epictetus, said, “A ship should not ride on a single anchor, nor life on a single hope.” Don’t depend on one job to give you hope, happiness, and fulfillment. Your fulfillment may come from a combination of things. What makes you curious? Start there.
